Okay, So this evening I'm taking a page out of my cousin's blog and writing with my emotions about my Mother. I love you Momma! Enjoy!
In life there is only one person who we can call mother. My one person is Mary Ellen. SHE IS WONDERFUL! But sadly, I used to not think that. I used to feel like we would never ever get along. That we were never on the same page. About the time that I had my oldest daughter Becca. I started to have this itch. You know the kind. The in the middle of your back, you're all alone in the house, and by George you can't reach it by yourself. itch.
Slowly it began to grow. It began to get worse.
When my youngest daughter Megan was born and her first birthday passed. I finally realized what was missing. It was about that time that I had that AHH! feeling. My mother was missing and the itch was scratched. I made the leap and began to slowly put myself in her shoes.
I realized that she did love me, that she did want me, and that I was important to her. That what I perceived as a child did not have the same perception as it did now that I was an adult. I realized just how much I wanted or even needed her in my life. I look back sometimes and realized who much I missed out on by behaving like a child. I missed having her in the delivery room of both of my girls. I missed having her there to cry with when I lost my first child. I missed having her in the bleachers to cheer me on, on Senior Night. I missed the bonding over wedding plans. But then I realized that you can't go back and start over. And that you can't keep looking back. One day you have to start looking at the here and now. That you have to look forward.
Because you know what she was with me. She was there with me in the hospital room when I lost my baby. I know this because without her presence I wouldn't have understood that God has reasons for everything. She was with me in the delivery room when I had Rebecca and Megan. She was in my head yelling "You CAN do this. Just don't give up!" Otherwise I don't think I would have made it. She was there on Senior night sitting in the bleachers of my heart cheering me on. She was there for the wedding plans. Just look at the photos. There are pieces of her everywhere you look. Right down to the dew drops on Matt's boutonniere.
She has always been there. She was with me when Megan was diagnosed with MPS VI and later when she was diagnosed with I-Cell. She was with me when I thought that I couldn't handle anymore. It was my Mom that told me to get up and go on. Life wouldn't wait for me to say okay I'm ready. She told me that I had to be there for my family. She is the one that made me unselfish. Because she too is unselfish. She gives and gives and seldom gets recognition for her gifts. She is a wonderful woman. She is an absolutely wonderful Mom.
“When I stopped seeing my mother with the eyes of a child, I saw the woman who helped me give birth to myself.” -Nancy Friday